|The Taylight Zone - Anthology Nine
01 - Turn the Lights Off - Cassie
AIDS. Those four letters are dancing in my head like they want to drive me crazy. They are doing it very well. Only four letters are changing my whole life, and I still coudn't beleive it. This was to good to be true...
I don't even remember what her name was. I don't even remember what she looked like. I don't even remember where and when I met her. A complete stranger loved me one very night. That night, she loved me to death.
I was so young so famous and so rich, so powerfull. I was driving millions of young girls crazy with my two younger brothers. They all loved me for what I wasn't. I wasn't the perfect little boy I always appeared to be.
I lived for music, the rest of my life as nothing. I was spending nights in bars, even if I didn't had the age to enter them. I was always drunk, or or on acid, and other hallucinogens. I don't remember an half of my life.
And then came this: AIDS. Soon I'll be dead.
Soon, I'll be dead.
I can't stand it. It's impossible. Totaly unbeleivable. It's time has stopped in front of my eyes. Like it was the end of the world. But it's only me that was ending.
I didn't cried. Big boys never cried. This sentence was remembering me my father, my family, my brothers, when I was 15. The band was starting, We were all cute, young and innocent. This time was far away.
I don't miss it that much, since I am famous and rich, I do what I want. This is so weirdthink that in about five years, I'll be dead. This is so weird think that everything will be finish so soon...
Like all joy and happiness haved to happen at the same time. I had everything, the last second I had everything, fans and cash. Maybee I just didn't deserve it that much and God decided to take it away from me.
I was a bright star, full of light, but He decided to turn the lights off.
Turn the light off, like you turn off the TV. Like image and color disepears by pushing a button. It was so scary.
But, hey, God. I'll turn them off myself. I never needed the help of anyone, man.
Dad always keep a revolver at home. Right in his case, under his bed. He his shinny, never been used. He his waiting for me.
It's not like you're waiting for me, Lord. You reserved me a long and dark death, don't you? You wanted me to be sick years and years? You're such an asshole!
I don't know what else to say.
I'll surely go to hell. But life is worse than hell. Truly worse.
I'm going to turn the light off.