Yearbook

02 - Lonely Boy - Kimberly

He walked the dark street in confusion. Another slap across the face followed by a drink thrown on him, all delivered by the girl he thought he loved before she walked away in anger.
How could he have been so stupid? He should have known not to admit that he had lied saying he was virgin. A little white lie being brought to attention should never be able to end a relationship as strong as their's was. Or was it as strong as you thought it was, hoped it was?

He wanted to cry but his eyes shed no tears. His head pulsed in a gyrating pain as he stumbled down the street on his way home. Well, to his apartment. He couldn't call that place home.

Home is where the heart is, and that place had no heart. It was a cold, lonely place that he forever wanted to get away from, but he couldn't. Things might have been different if years ago he had signed that contract. But he couldn't bring himself to do it.

That company, Mercury, had wanted so much control over him. He was so independent then. He wouldn't let them have that control, so they didn't want him. No one wants you.

He swallowed the trepidation forming within him and stormed down the way to his place of residence. A block later, he arrived at that very place. He removed his key from his pocket and unlocked the door.

He pushed open that door carefully. He had to. The paint on the door was thick and flaking, the door itself had rusty hinges that squeaked quite loudly when any pressure was applied to them. It was hell during storms.

He entered his living room and took off his jacket. He threw it onto a chair and sat down on the sofa. He lay his head back and ran his fingers through his shoulder length blond hair. When did life get to be this way?

He turned his head to the left and caught a glimpse of the time. " Ten-thirty, huh? Guess I'll get to bed. Nothing else to do."

He stood up and pulled the cushions off the sofa. He proceeded to set up his bed, then walked off to do his nightly things like brush his teeth, wash his face, etc.

He came back to the living room cleaner, but not refreshed. He pulled off all of his clothing with the exception of his boxers and pulled back the covers to his bed. He slid in and reached to turn off the light. You never turned it on, you imbecile.

He couldn't remember when he'd felt this bad. Hopefully some other time he'd felt this way. Actually, maybe not.



Why am I going out to meet girls? They'll just hurt me like she did. His brothers had somehow convinced him that what he needed to do was go to a bar, meet a chick, have some fun with her, then forget her. He hoped he could do that.

Upon their arrival to the bar, he'd beelined it to a stool right next to the bartender. He wasn't doing this without some vodka first. He sat down, ordered his liquor and sat back to observe.

Seemingly, every girl that came into his view looked like the girl who had broken his heart. Or so he thought. He was about to turn back to his vodka when he caught a glimpse of a dark-haired beauty who seemed to be on the verge of hysterically crying. He picked up his drink and walked over to her.

"Can I sit down?"

The girl looked up to him, her bottom lip trembling. "I guess. Unless for soem strange reason you can't bend at the waist like the rest of us."

He grinned a tight-lipped smile. "Okay. May I sit down next to you then?"

The girl shrugged and slumped down into her seat so that she was facifn away from him. He sat down.

He was silent for a moment. He continued to drink and observe. Finally, he looked at the girl. "What's troubling you?"

She sat up a little and turned to face him. "The fact that I'm lonely."

He reached up and gently turned her face to meet his. "Well, that's something we have in common. I'm Taylor. You are...?"

She brushed his hand away. "My name is Janessa."

He smiled. "That's one beautiful name. It matches the girl it's naming."

She turned her head back down and mumbled, "Thanks."

He picked his glass up and downed the rest of the vodka it contained. "You wanna get out of here? Maybe go for a walk?"

She looked back up to him. The sorrow in her eyes turned to momentary happiness, but faded away to sorrow once more. "Not thanks. I don't want to get involved with you."

He took those words like a kick in the groin. "Okay. Look, Janessa, I know you've had a tough time. It can't me much worse than what has happened to me. My heart's been through a grinder again and again. I feel like I can trust you to help me put the pieces together because you know that you have to be gentle because you've been through the same thing. Otherwise, I wouldn't have asked."

She abruptly stood up. "Okay, sure. But if we get in deep and you hurt me...."

He placed his index finger on her lips. "I wouldn't do that."

She gently brought his hand down from her mouth. "You might."

He shook his head. "I couldn't."

She smiled and took his arm. They walked through the crowded building to greet the cool night air. It was about a week until Christmas. Little mounds of snow were scattered about the city of Tulsa. He hated that cold and wished the spring would hurry up and arrive.

The two lonely aquaintances walked the darkened streets together that night. They almost made bright the dark night because they shared a bond. It wouldn't matter if they became lovers of friends or enemies. It only mattered that they understood each other that one night. This was a bond he would take wherever he went because it wasn't the type of thing you could deny or brush off. It was real, and it was forever.

They may not always be lonely. Regardless, he'll always be the lonely boy that met a girl who was the same. Had she not been beautiful, things would be the same. They weren't one, but they were the same.

As they walked down the street, he recalled a time when he's been happy. Singing made him happy. Without thinking, he burst into a song from the first demo he and his brothers had made entitled "Boomerang". "He's looking for spring, looking for another lonely heart. He's trying to find the switch to turn on the light in the dark. He found the answer, that true will prevail, through the darkest night, coldest winters, through the fires of hell."

Janessa turned to him. "Nice. Don't do that again. I'll have to hurt you."

For a moment he though she was serious, but he noted the smile on her face that radiated some infectious warmth and he knew she was joking. "Okay. Sure. Well, maybe. I love to sing. Always have, always will. I just never got signed."

He would have continued, but Janessa interrupted him. "Got it. So, where's your place?"

He looked around and said, "We've walked this far all ready? Geesh! We're really close to my place. Want to see it?"

Janessa nodded. "Sure. But, promise me one thing."

"Maybe. What's that one thing?"

"That you'll sing for me?"

"Maybe. If you're lucky."

"Awww. Drat. Too bad. I'm Janessa, not lucky."

He grinned at her pun. "Well, for tonight, you'll be lucky."

She smiled and continued walking. It was a good night. A little too cold, but a good night.


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