14 - Everything Changes - Lauren
Too much.
It was too much.
He couldn't take it anymore.
He just couldn't stand it.
Too much confusion.
It was too much.
All at once, knocking into him, smashing in his brain, pounding in his skull,
ripping out his guts, tearing up his heart, hurting him deep down inside.
He wanted to escape.
He was too young. It hit him when he was just a boy.
He didn't understand what was going on around him. The classy businessmen and women, dressed in suits, carrying cell phones, excited looks on their flushed faces.
His family, all bustling around, constantly yelling at each other, all with
different ideas and visions that they could never seem to clarify with other
people.
His managers and assistants, blank looks their faces as they blandly told him
what to do.
The fans, screaming way too loudly, those neon glow sticks swirling around in the blackness, too many posters whispering fake vows of "I Love You".
His brothers.
The changed ones.
Oh, how they have changed.
He missed the old two, fun guys he used to joke with. Used to laugh with,
used to fight with.
But they have changed.
Everything has changed.
He leaned his forehead against the glass panes of the thirty story Mercury
building in NYC.
He could see the reflections of the people behind him in the glass.
There were those businessmen. With their damn, annyoing cell phones.
And his family, his sisters, his little brother, his mother and father.
Fighting, everybody yelling at everybody else. He watched Jessica steal
Avery's Barbie right out of her hands, and he watched Avery's face crumple as she began bawling like a baby. He watched Mackenzie, an innocent four year old, standing by Zoë's carraige. He watched without emotion as Mackenzie's hand reached into the carraige and pulled out Zoë's passifier. Mackenzie ran away, leaving Zoë's tears to join with Avery's. He listened to the all-too-familiar sounds of his parent's voices, yelling frustrations, trying to shout over one another.
He sighed, allowing his breath to steam the glass. Suddenly he saw something in the glass. Someone standing behind him.
He whirled around. His brothers.
"What are you...?" he trailed off softly.
"You stupid shit!" the older one exploded. "How could you have even dared to touch my stuff?!!?! You went in my bag without freaking asking?! I hope you know that's trepassing of private fucking property and I don't give two flying shits if you're my brother or not!"
He sighed wearily. "I was just looking for-"
"No," the younger one voiced shortly. "You don't just look for. You ask
for."
"But I was just trying to-"
"I don't give a fuck!" the older one intercepted. "You do not touch my things,
all right, asshole?!"
He nodded sluggishly, not even caring anymore. "Yeah. Sure."
The two blond brothers disappeared as quickly as they had come.
He missed them.
A lot.
Why had they changed so much?
He couldn't stand it anymore.
The confusion. The hurt. The pain. Seeing his family like this, seeing how
everything had reversed itself.
How everything had changed.
He placed his hands on the window and pushed it up, letting the sweet summer breeze flow through his golden hair. Closing his tired eyes, he stuck his head out the window, feeling the warmth of the sun bronzing his cheeks. The smell of fresh air.
He opened his eyes and looked down.
The concrete.
So inviting.
The blocks of gray cement, all placed together like a maze, with intricate,
jagged black cracks and lines distributed throughout.
The sun reflecting off the smooth pavement.
"Goddamn you, Walker! I can't take this anymore!"
Diana's voice rang out, high and shrill.
He didn't even bother to turn around.
He climbed out onto the ledge, letting his black Doc Marten clad feet to
dangle in the air.
About twenty eight stories down, he thought.
Not as bad as I've seen in movies.
For one second the Third Eye Blind song flashed through his head.
"I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend...."
Sorry to disappoint you, man.
"You could cut ties with all the lies that you've been living in..."
Bull fucking shit.
"And if you do not want to see me again, I would understand...."
See WHO again?! What fuckin FRIENDS do I have in this fucked up world?!
Suddenly a quote from his brother penetrated his mind.
"Everything changes."
A solitary tear slid down his cheek and dripped off his chin. I miss you,
Tay, he thought.
"Everything changes."
Yeah, and you too, Ike.
"Everything changes."
I really tried. You just.... you guys changed, man. You changed too much.
So fast.
"I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend..."
He stood up, his toes daring to touch the outer limits of the air.
"You could cut ties with all the lies that you've been living in...."
He took a deep breath, and exhaled.
Suddenly frantic shouts from inside pierced the peacefulness of the ledge.
"Has anybody seen Zac? Where's Zac?!"
"Where did he go? Has anyone seen Zac Hanson? It's time to do that press
conference in Planet Hollywood!"
"Where is that damn little blond boy?!"
"He better show up or his ass will be dead! Somebody find him!"
"Come ON, people, find Zac! We have to go! The tour bus is waiting!"
He snickered.
You'll never find me in time for that fucking press conference, he chuckled to
himself.
"Everything changes."
One foot over the edge. His untied shoelaces blustering in the wind.
"I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend....."
You know what, Taylor?
"You could cut ties with all the lies that you've been living in...."
One arm out in front of him.
"Everything changes."
Wanna know something, big bro?
"Everything changes."
I think you'll wanna know this one, Tay.
"I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend...."
He lept.
"Everything changes."
You're damn right about that one.
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