Chapter Seven - The Storm Rages On

Noah Barnes sat at his computer staring blankly at the screen. He'd logged on to the Internet to check his e-mail, hoping that something interesting from one of his cyber friends would take his mind off his horrible day. There were about fifty messages waiting for him and he halfheartedly read through them.

Things were way too heavy right now. His father's death had been tough enough to deal with, but now his job and the love of his life was gone as well. He didn't know how much more he could take. "If only Dad were here," he said out loud. "He could tell me what to do."

He swiveled his chair around and looked at the mess on his bedroom floor. He walked over, picked up the bookcase and set it back against the wall. Shifting through the mess of books and CD's, he began to reorganize everything, putting each item back in its place. He stopped when his eyes fell upon the familiar looking cover of his favorite compact disc: Middle of Nowhere by Hanson.

Noah retrieved the CD from the floor and opened the case. The familiar orange Hanson logo stared back at him. He placed the player back on his nightstand, plugged it in, and placed the disc inside. Selecting track twelve, he pushed play as a familiar tune filled his ears.

If I'm gone when you wake up please don't cry
And if I'm gone when you wake up it's not goodbye
Don't look back at this time as a time of heartbreak and distress
Remember me, remember me, 'cause I'll be with you in your dreams

Tears filled his eyes as memories of his father filled his mind. He suddenly remembered that night at his graduation party. His father had been so drunk - it was really embarrassing. It was a warm, June evening and most of the party guest had already left. Dad was outside stumbling toward the car. Noah ran after him.

"Dad, give me the keys," Noah had said.

"No chance. I've gotta go pick up your graduation present."

Noah stopped his father. "Come on, dad, you can pick it up tomorrow."

Jake Barnes pushed his son to the ground. "You can't tell your father what to do. I'm fine. You just get your mother and sister home and don't worry about me. I've been driving as long as you've been alive. You think I don't know how to drive a car. Huh?"

Noah was silent.

"Answer me, boy!"

"Dad, please, don't drive okay?" he stood up from the ground and moved to block his father's path to the car.

"Get out my way, boy," Jake screamed, pushing his son to the side, and stumbling into the car.

People were staring and whispering under their breath to each other. Marcie and Jennifer ran out and watched as Jake started the car and took off with a screech of the tires, Noah screaming after him. Somehow his mom had gotten him into her car and the three of them had arrived at home forty-five minutes later, a police officer waiting for them when they arrived.

He'd broken the news that Jake Barnes had run a red light, crashed into a minivan, and died at the scene. The mother and child in the van were in critical condition at a local hospital. The police needed someone to come down and identify the body of Mr. Barnes. That was the night his life had gone to hell.

Noah snapped back into the present and returned to his computer desk. Sitting down he clicked onto the e-mail icon on the screen. He opened the Hanson CD insert and found their address inside. He typed it in and stopped, thinking of what he could possibly say. He needed to tell someone.

"Oh, this is stupid," he muttered. He moved the mouse over the "close" button and almost clicked it when something stopped him. He thought for another moment. Once he started typing, he never stopped.

Dear Isaac, Taylor, and Zac,

I feel incredibly silly sending you this message but I don't know what else to do. Things have been kind of nuts around here and I've run out of people to talk to. You're probably asking yourself why the heck I'm writing you. Well, I've been a fan of your music for some time now and do I have a story to tell you.

Six months ago, I was diagnosed with clinical depression. Everything in my world fell apart. I was due to graduate from college after working my way through for eight long years. I was feeling emotions and feelings that I'd never felt before. I was crying at the drop of a hat. The doctor's put me on medication immediately. The first anti-depressant made me crazy, causing me to have dramatic mood swings in which I would cuss people out for no good reason.

Another type of medication was tried then. I became suicidal and had to have people stay with me (or be checked into a hospital) on several occasions in case I tried to kill myself. One of these nights, my sister caught me with a knife just as I was about to slit my wrist.

You may ask what this has to do with your music. Well, I discovered Hanson right about the time of my diagnosis. I was over at a friend's house surfing the net when I heard
MMMBop on the radio. I had no idea who was singing, only that they sounded like they were having a ball. I loved the song and found myself singing it all the time.

My friend bought your CD and loaned it to me, knowing how much I liked the song on the radio. I quickly purchased my own copy and proceeded to listen to it for the next six months. The songs were speaking to me. Weird helped me realize (in light of the depression) that I was not crazy. I Will Come to You helped me to see a God who I thought had left me. Your music spoke to me like no other's had before. Your songs were fun and upbeat and helped me through my depression. Listening to your CD always seemed to cheer me up. Not a day has gone by in the last six months that I haven't listened to it.

A third medication was tried about two months ago and seemed to be doing the trick. Finally, my life was returning to normal. Things were going okay until graduation night, which was one month ago. My father had a little too much to drink at my party and was killed when he ran a red light, plowing into another car. My sister tells me that for the last month, I haven't spoken one word to anyone and that I woke up every night screaming. She says that the only thing that would calm me down was to play your CD over and over again.

I "woke up" today I guess you could say and realized that a month of my life has been erased. I don't remember anything. All I know is that as a result I've lost my job and my fiancée. Things really suck right now. I'm listening to your CD.
With You in Your Dreams is playing and I imagine it is my father speaking to me.

I just wanted you guys to know that I appreciate the fact that you're making music. You sure have changed my life. I know that I have a long way to go but I'm glad that Hanson will there to cheer me up. You guys are absolutely incredible. Thanks for sharing. I know you get tons of e-mail, but I hope that you find this one.

Always, Noah Barnes


He read over it again and added his address and phone number as an after-thought. He then clicked the "send" button. Realizing what a silly thing he'd just done, he sighed. "Oh, well," he said. "They'll probably never get it anyway." He shut off the computer and concentrated on trying to clean his room.

He'd managed to pick a few things up when he heard a knock at the door. "Come in."

The door opened, it was Monica.

"Hello," she said. "May I come in?"

He smiled. "Sure, Monica."

She walked into the room and shut the door behind her.

"I guess this is the shortest job you've ever had, huh?"

She smiled uncomfortably. "Yes, I suppose so. But I'd rather see you all better than keep my job. I'm glad to see that everything is okay, now, though."

"Well, that's a matter of opinion."

"What is?"

"That everything is going to be okay."

"I'm sorry, I don't follow what you mean."

"Oh, come on, Monica," Noah began, "weren't you listening to anything that was said downstairs? My life is screwed!"

"Well, I heard that a few things have gone wrong, yes, but that hardly represents your entire life."

"A few things? My father, my job, my future wife. Jeez, Monica, what else is there?"

"Well, you're mother and you're sister." She paused. "And God."

"God?" Noah laughed. "What does God have to do with any of this? I wouldn't be in this position if He hadn't allowed all of this to happen."

"But Noah, God loves you."

"Oh, that's a load of crap. I've believed that all of my life and look where its gotten me. If God loved me my father would still be alive. If God loved me, Monica, I'd still have a job and a fiancée."

"I know you're angry, Noah, but don't let your bitterness keep you from the One who loves you so much."

Noah was stunned, he didn't know what to say. He couldn't believe this woman was trying to push all of this on him. "Look, Monica, I know you're only trying to help, but just don't, okay?"

She started to speak but Noah stopped her. "Just go, Monica. You're not needed here anymore. Go try to solve someone else's problems. I don't need this."

He turned away from her and continued to clean as Monica stood in silence. Finally, tears running down her cheeks, she left his room and closed the door behind her.


Chapter Eight

Chapter Six

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