Tracy was curled up on her bed clutching a pillow.
The tears were flowing freely as she lay there thinking how unfair it all seemed. Why didn't anyone understand how she felt? Didn't anyone else have a problem with her Mom dating so soon after Dad's death? And why hadn't she been allowed to come to the funeral?
"Dammit," she said, slamming her fist into the pillow. "I hate them all. Damn them all to hell!"
There was a knock at the door. "Tracy?" a voice said.
It was Isaac. Tracy dried her eyes as best she could and sat up on the bed.
"Come in," she managed, trying to keep her voice even.
The door opened and in he walked. He was even more beautiful now than he'd been a few minutes ago when they'd come in from their walk. She managed an awkward smile.
"Are you okay?"
Tracy sniffed. "Yeah," she tried to say with confidence, "I'm fine."
Isaac smiled. "Don't give me that, Tracy. I know you by now. What's up?"
He sat down on the bed next to her and motioned for her to come sit beside him. She repositioned herself on the bed and eased up close to him. He wrapped an arm around her and she leaned into him, burying her face in his shoulder. She took a deep breath, noticing a sweet aroma coming from him -- a cologne of some kind, but something else also. He smelled heavenly. The tears started coming again.
"Oh god, Ike," she said, "everything is so fucked up right now."
"What's the matter?"
"How can she do that to us?" she exclaimed, her voice muffled. "How can she just march that guy in here right under our nose and expect us to just accept it?"
Ike pulled her closer. "Charlie doesn't seem like such a bad guy, Tracy," he said. "And I think it's good for your Mom."
"Geez, Ike, who's side are you on?"
"I'm not on anyone's side, Tracy. I'm just saying that it might be good for your Mom to have someone like Charlie."
"Good for her?" Tracy exclaimed. "What about what's good for us -- her family?"
Ike laughed. "Don't you think that's a little bit selfish?"
Tracy moved her head from his shoulder and looked up at him. "Selfish? Dammit, Ike, what kind of 'cheer-up' tactic is this?"
"Come on, Tracy," he responded, "think about it. Don't you know your Mom has to be lonely? Do you think you're the only one who misses your Dad? They were married for a long time, Tracy. She lost someone she'd spent the majority of her life with. That had to have been hard on her. Now, she's looking for some companionship. Just because they're dating doesn't mean they're going to get married."
Tracy snorted. "Right," she said, "that's what you say now. Give it some time."
Isaac rolled his eyes. "And what if they do get married? So what, Tracy? Wouldn't you rather your Mom be happy than alone the rest of her life?"
"It just doesn't seem right, Ike," she replied. "He's only been dead a year."
"I think your father would have wanted it this way, Tracy. He would want your mother to find someone that would treat her well and make her happy. I didn't know your Dad at all, but I know if it was me, I'd want my wife to find someone else if I died. It's not fair to spend the rest of your life unhappy."
"But he's trying to replace Dad."
"No, Tracy," Isaac said. "No, no, no. No one could ever replace your Father, and I don't think that's what Charlie is trying to do."
"Yeah, sure."
Isaac was quiet for a moment. Finally, he spoke: "this is about the funeral, isn't it?"
Tracy looked up at him, her eyes red and swollen from the crying. "They wouldn't let me go, Isaac," she said. "They said I couldn't go because I was 'too dangerous.' I never got a chance to say goodbye to him." She broke down again, pulling Isaac closer to her.
"Oh Trace," Isaac said. "It's okay, baby." He hugged her tightly. "It's gonna be okay."
Tracy buried her face deep into Isaac's neck and breathed deeply again. Being close to him made her feel safe – everything was okay while in his arms. She gently brought her lips to his tender skin and gave a gentle kiss. He responded with a contented sigh and placed his hand on her inner thigh. Tracy looked up at Isaac with her red, swollen eyes and offered a sweet smile. "I love you," she said.
She'd barely had time to get the words out before Isaac's lips touched hers. Obviously, the feeling was mutual. Isaac's hand moved to her waist and slowly began to pull the shirt from inside the jeans she was wearing. Their kiss grew more passionate as tongue met tongue. Heartbeats raced as Tracy placed her hand on Ike's thigh, moving it closer to his growing manhood.
Their bodies inched closer and closer to the bed as they continued to kiss. Finally, they lay next to one another. Ike's hand was up Tracy's shirt, while her hand was finding its way inside his pants.
"Get away from me, Sarah," Noah said. He'd inched himself backward into a corner, staring at his bloody hand in horror, screaming like a madman everytime Sarah came near him. "Oh, my god...oh, my god..."
"Noah, honey," Sarah said, "you have to let me look at your --"
"No!" he screamed. "No, no, no--"
Sarah sat helplessly on the corner of the bed staring at her husband. His face was buried in his hands -- he was sobbing uncontrollably. She was at a loss for words and actions -- she had no idea what to do. He wouldn't let her near him, and besides everything else she was worried about, his hand needed some attention.
"The baby..." Noah said suddenly. "Oh, god...the baby..."
Sarah gasped. "What about the baby, Noah?"
"I don't..." he stopped, trying to talk while sobbing. "I don't want the baby."
"Why, Noah? Why don't you want the baby?"
There was silence for a moment as Noah lifted his head from his hands and stared Sarah directly in the eye. There was pain there -- confusion. Emotions that Sarah could never even begin to understand or imagine peered directly into her soul.
"Just like me..."
"What?" Sarah asked, completely baffled.
"Just like me," Noah repeated. "The baby's gonna be just like me."
"Oh god, Noah," Sarah said. "That's what you're worried about?"
Noah simply nodded.
Sarah reached out her hand to him. "Come here, Noah," she said, "please."
He stared at her for a moment, almost afraid to take her hand. He shook his head. "I don't want to hurt you."
She smiled gently. "You're not going to hurt me, Noah," she said. "I trust you."
He slowly reached out his good hand towards her and pulled himself up from the floor. He sat down next to her on the bed. Sarah wrapped her arms around him and breathed a deep sigh of relief.
Oh god, I love him so much!
"You listen to me, Noah Barnes," she said. "I love you more than anything else in this world. And if this baby inside of me turns out to be just like you, then it will be the luckiest little guy or girl on the face of the earth."
Noah shook his head. "You don't -- you don't understand, Sarah," he began. "This illness -- the depression -- is genetic. This baby could end up to be just like me. I don't want any child of mine taking ten or twelve pills a day just so they can function like a normal human being.
"I don't want any child of mine punching holes through walls or hitting their spouse because they can't deal with their own damn emotions. I don't want that for my baby, Sarah. I can't do that to a child."
"You're not doing anything to this child, Noah," Sarah responded. "If the baby does turn out like that then it won't be your fault."
"It's genetic, Sarah," he said. "Of course it will be my fault."
"Was it your mother's fault you turned out this way?"
Noah thought for a moment. "Well --"
"No, it wasn't," Sarah said. "Just like it won't be your fault if our baby has the same problems you do. My mother died of breast cancer, Noah, and there's a distinct possibility that I could get that too, but it's not my mother's fault. Whatever is going to happen to me or this baby is going to happen, no matter what. And if it happens...well...I say we deal with it then. There's no use worrying about something that may not even be an issue for years down the road."
"How can you be so optimistic, Sarah," Noah said, standing up from the bed. He laughed. "This baby is fucked." He looked up, a maniacal gaze staring deep into her eyes. "Fucked!"
"Don't say that," Sarah said, tears forming in her eyes again.
"You just don't understand," Noah said, burying his face in his hands again.
"You're right, Noah, I don't understand," she replied.
Suddenly, a warm glow filled the room. Confused, Sarah looked around. She gasped as her eyes met with a lovely woman with long brown hair cascading her shoulders. Her smile radiated peace just as the fiery aura around her did.
"Don't be afraid," she said.
"Who…who are you?" Sarah somehow managed to ask.
"My name is Monica, and I'm an angel…sent by God. He wants you to know that Someone does understand."
"So," Rob began, "what did you think?" He pressed her hard up against the side of the house. "You think you could just leave and everything would be over? Did you think I wouldn't come looking for you?"
Jennifer said nothing, her body paralyzed with fear. She had thought that – that it would be this easy. She felt stupid now for having thought it. She knew what kind of a guy Rob was. He wouldn't just let this whole thing go.
"Answer me, you little bitch!" he said, punctuating his sentence with a hard slap to her face.
"Please, Rob," she sobbed.
"Please, Rob," he repeated in a mocking tone. He slapped her again.
Terrified out of his mind, Zac Hanson slowly backed away from the scene unfolding just on the other side of the wall from him. He didn't know how he could help. Whoever this Rob guy was, he sounded really big – too big for Zac to handle by himself at least.
Slow, Zacman, he thought to himself. Don't make a sound.
Suddenly, his back pressed up against something hard. He moved his hand around and felt the rubbery texture of a car's tire. He slowly turned and saw that he'd backed up to Noah's car. As quietly as he could, he opened the back door of the Corolla and slipped inside.
Tracy's shirt was almost totally off when Isaac stopped. His hands were all over her, the feeling of sex in the air. "Oh man," he said. "Oh wow."
"What's wrong?"
Isaac pulled away from her and sat up on the bed, pulling his shirt back on. "We can't do this, Tracy. This isn't right. I don't want it to be like this."
"Like what?" Tracy asked, pulling her shirt back down.
Isaac sighed deeply. "I feel like I'm committing some kind of crime," he said. "I mean, your Mother is just downstairs. That's kind of creepy."
Tracy rolled her eyes. "Yeah, well, that's my Mom."
Isaac stood up from the bed, wishing away the temptation that was nearly causing him to jump on Tracy and release the enormous amount of tension that had built up in the room. He tucked his shirt back into his pants and looked at Tracy. "I'm sorry, Trace," he said. "Are you okay with this?"
"It doesn't look like I have much of a choice," she snapped. He responded with a hurt look. "Oh hell, Ike, I'm sorry," she said. "Of course, I understand. If anything, it just makes you all the more sexier."
He laughed. "Don't say that word." He looked around the room for a moment. "I need some air. You wanna come?"
"No, that's okay," she said. "I'll just go take a long, cold shower."
He smiled and winked at her. "Tell me about it."
With that, he turned and opened the door to her bedroom and headed for the stairs.
"An angel?" Sarah asked, a quizzical look on her face. "I heard Noah tell me about you, but I guess I didn't really believe it."
Noah laughed. "Oh yeah, Sarah," he said, "these angels just appear and disappear anytime they want – making empty promises about this God that's supposed to love everyone and have this marvelous plan for their lives. They're like God's public relations department."
"Oh Noah," Monica said, "you know that's not true. God does love you."
"Save it, Monica," he responded. "I've had it up to here with angels and God. I'm angry, dammit, and I want some answers!"
"The kind of answers you're looking for," Monica began, "I can't give you."
"But I want to know why..."
"God doesn't owe you an explanation for every little thing that happens in your life. You have to let God be God, and trust that everything that happens to you happens for a reason. Only He knows what's best for you."
"That's not good enough!" Noah shouted.
"God isn't out to get you, Noah," Monica said softly. "He just wants you to trust in Him. Every little trial, every little problem that comes your way, they're to make you stronger -- to make you depend on the Father even more."
"Look around you, Monica," Noah yelled. "Do you see God anywhere? Well, I don't. Looks like He's gone AWOL to me. Nothing you can do or say will convince me otherwise."
"Just because you can't see Him doesn't mean He isn't there," Monica said. "That's why He sends angels -- to interact with you. He wants you to know that He's there for you."
"For all I know, Monica, you're just some hallucination. With all the damn medications I've been on, I wouldn't be surprised. They've made me go insane."
"You're not insane, Noah," Monica replied. "You're just hurt and confused and you can't see that God is really trying to help you. Let go of the pain and the hurt, Noah. Only then can God help you."
"Well, the pain isn't going away, is it, Monica?"
Sarah sat sobbing on the bed. She'd reached her absolute limit. This was all she could take. She'd lost her husband for good. She was convinced of that now. He was a ticking time bomb. No one knew when he was going to go off.
It could be anytime now.
Isaac stepped out the front door of the Barnes home and immediately saw Jennifer pinned against the wall.
"You filthy whore," her attacker said, squeezing ruthlessly at her neck. Her face was turning blue.
Ike, moving on pure adrenaline, ran over and shoved him several feet onto the lawn, sitting him on his rear end. Jennifer collapsed onto the pavement gasping for air.
"Leave her alone, asshole," he said.
"Who the fuck are you?" Robert said, standing up.
"I'm Santa Claus," Ike said, "and you've been a bad boy this year."
"I know who you are," Rob said. "You're one of those sissy Hanson boys."
Isaac sighed. He wanted to punch the guy out, but he had to remain calm.
"Look, pal," he began, "I don't want to fight with you. Just get back in your car and leave, okay?"
"What are you gonna do if I don't, MMMBop boy?" Rob said, shoving Isaac backwards.
"Get out of here, limp dick," Ike said.
"MMMbop..." Rob sang, mocking Isaac.
"I'm only going to say this one more time, asshole -- get out of here."
"Come on, you fucking fairy," Rob said. "You little MMMBop --"
Thud!
Ike's fist flew through the air and connected with Rob's jaw. He was dazed, but quickly recovered. Isaac dodged the blow, and quickly kneed Rob in the crotch, causing the larger boy to fall onto the sidewalk. "MMMBop that, you son-of-a-bitch," Ike said.
Rob lay groaning on the ground, rolling back and forth. Isaac walked over and nudged him with his hiking boot. "Come on now, big man," he said. "Get out of here."
There was no response from Rob but another groan of pain. Ike picked the boy up by a handful of his hair and dragged him, over the grass and pavement of the driveway, to his car. "Get in your car and get out of her, dickwad," he said, opening the door for Rob.
Rob managed to stand and hobble into the car. "You're...you're so dead, you...you fucking queer!" he said, through groans of pain.
Ike smiled and waved. "Buh-bye."
Rob cranked up the car and backed out of the driveway with a loud screech of the tires.
Isaac turned away from the road and sprinted over to Jennifer – she was still crying. "Oh, man, Jen," he said, holding his arms out. "Are you okay?"
She ran into his embrace and he hugged her tightly.
"It's okay," Ike said. "He's gone now."
"Oh, Ike," she sobbed. "I thought he was going to kill me."
"It’s over, Jen – he’s gone."
"I was so scared."
"I know, but he’s gone. It’s over now."
"Oh, god,” Jen said. “Just hold me, Ike."
She sobbed into his chest as he continued to hold onto her. Neither one of them heard the front door open.
"What the fuck?" a voice said.
They both turned – it was Tracy. Her mouth hung open, a look of shock and betrayal on her face.
"Is this why didn’t want to mess around with me, Isaac," she said. "You wanted to get your hands on Jennifer instead?"
"No, Tracy," Ike said, approaching her.
"Get away from me, you asshole."
"Tracy, it’s not what it looked like," Jen said.
"Yeah, sure," Tracy replied. "Sure, it wasn’t."
"C’mon, Trace," Isaac pleaded. "Give us a chance to explain."
"You don’t need to explain," Tracy said. "It’s quite clear what was going on here." She stepped inside the front door and grabbed a pair of car keys that were hanging on a hook. "Get out of my way." She pushed past Isaac and Jennifer and walked over to Sarah’s car.
"Tracy, please," Ike said.
"Forget it, Ike," she replied, "it’s over. You’ve got what you want now. You don’t need me around." To Jennifer she said, "You no good slut. Just couldn't stand it that he loved me, could you?"
She opened the car door and got into the car. She cranked the engine and tore out of the driveway. Once again, a car squealed away from the Barnes home.
"Dammit!" Ike screamed, kicking the grass.
Marcie and Charlie came out the front door. "What’s going on?" Jennifer turned. "Oh, my heavens, Jennifer," Marcie exclaimed. "What happened to your face?"
"It was Rob, Mom," Jen answered. "He hit me…he’s been hitting me."
Marcie grabbed her daughter and hugged her tightly. "Oh, my poor baby," she said.
"Tracy left, Mrs. Barnes," Isaac said. "She took Sarah’s car."
"What?"
"Well," Isaac began, "I walked out and caught Rob roughing up Jennifer. I chased him off and –"
"I hugged Isaac because I was scared," Jennifer finished.
"Tracy caught us and got all pissed off. She drove away in Sarah's car."
"Oh, no," Marcie said. "She doesn't even have a driver's license."
"We'll find her, Marcie," Charlie said. "I'll find her." He pulled his truck keys from his pocket.
"I'm going with you." Ike announced.
"You stay here in case she calls," Charlie said. "Report the car stolen so we can have the police's help finding her."
Charlie and Ike climbed into the forest green Ford Explorer. The engine roared to life. Jennifer and Marcie ran back into the house as the truck drove away.
Taylor was on his way back in from the back patio when he saw Noah coming down the stairs. He ran over and met him at the landing. "Where are you going?"
"Not now, Taylor," Noah said.
Taylor grabbed Noah's arm. "What's wrong with you?"
Noah stopped, releasing a sigh through clenched teeth. "I'm only going to tell you nicely one more time – leave me alone." He pulled away and violently opened the door to the garage. Taylor followed.
"If you think I'm going to stand by and let you destroy yourself, you're wrong," Taylor said. "Where are you going?"
"Leave me alone, Taylor," Noah responded, digging into his pocket for his car keys.
"Will you at least give me the gun?" Taylor pleaded.
"Are you fucking stupid?" Noah screamed. "Leave me the hell alone, Stick-boy!"
Taylor grabbed Noah's arm again. Noah jerked away and then grabbed Taylor by the arms, throwing him backwards. Taylor hit the hood of Marcie's Camry and rolled over onto the concrete floor like a rag doll.
Noah pulled the keys from his pocket and got into his Corolla. He cranked the car and jammed it into gear, leaving Taylor lying on the garage floor with the wind knocked out of him.
Chapter Eight
Chapter Six
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